12 Tips for Going Back to School in Sobriety

I remember the first time I had to attend summer school. It was a brash red mark on my self esteem. This was that moment where I was permanently labeled. This moment is important to millions of students who drop out, who leave school behind. I took the expectations that I would never amount to anything, and I internalized them.

I’ve also heard the gut-wrenching phrase, “You have so much potential, if only you applied yourself more” time and time again. My parents worked a lot to support the family and had very little time to teach me. Even now, I see how much they applied themselves in their own lives. So when things came up, e.g., a missed class, failing grade, outburst in school, write ups- maybe I’d get their attention just for a moment. I fell into this cycle.

I ended up in continuation school. It’s where I met all of the other kids that have potential and no life goals. I found teachers who fostered these delinquents into somewhat normal students. It was here that I found how much I loved writing. It was here that I found the community of misfits that didn’t make me feel so different.

When I finally got sober, right out of high school, I decided I wanted to have life goals. But it was SO HARD. I still felt those nerves firing. I still felt like I was doing something against my own nature. On top of that, it was so hard to decide! I wanted to study so many things. I’ve always had a thirst for knowledge, I just hadn’t applied it.

I started taking writing classes. I was good at that. When it came down to actually turning anything in though, I couldn’t move. I couldn’t finish the story, the paper, or the assignment. I wanted to fail. The cycle started again, so I took a semester off. I thought maybe a break would help. But then, I started to crave sitting in class – the feeling that I was moving forward.

I eventually enrolled in Cypress College, (GO CHARGERS!) with the intention of studying Communications. I went in to see a school counselor. None were available because the major was impacted, so I ended up taking Psychology 101 as a General Education course. This class changed everything for me. All of the nerve endings were firing again. This course opened my eyes to something I had a secret passion in that I didn’t even know about. The class would debate against each other on engaging issues.

We talked about development and explored psychologists who built theories which applied to famous case studies. I’d find myself researching these topics on my own time. The horizon seemed endless.

I changed my major that year, and graduated two years later with an Associate of Arts degree in Psychology. I was part of the largest graduating class ceremony at Cypress Community College ever! I decorated my cap with my favorite quote from “The Hobbit”.

It was the first big thing in life I had taken all the way through to the finish. This time I had taken the nerves, those dreadful things that hold me back from so much, and turned them against themselves. The struggles I encountered along the way meant everything to me, because eventually I got to see the other side. So many people helped to carry me through.

Once I found out what I really wanted, I was open to asking for help. I found comfort in sharing my journey with others who were going through the same thing and consulting people who had been where I was. I could take the struggles one step at a time. I made sure to fill out the right paperwork, I talked to my teachers after class to assess my progress, and I made changes when they were needed.

Having had these experiences, I’ve developed some tips for other students considering going back to school in sobriety. Here’s my list:

1. Take a class if it interests you. That weird thing that you think no one but you is interested in? There is most likely someone that gets paid to teach that very subject. Whether it’s woodworking, computer science, Eastern European Impact on the Cultural Folklore of modern literature, whatever.
2. There are many more places to find classes than just at a Community College or University. Many companies will provide their employees courses through online schools. Some school districts will encourage part-time employees to take courses to better move through to their career. Local libraries and community centers have all sorts of classes available as well.
3. Sometimes classes that seem super boring will surprise you. I decided to sign up for an online management training course for an old job I held. It was very introspective, and involved a lot more writing about myself than I would have imagined. I learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses.  
4. If you are taking courses at a Community College or University, counselors are there to answer your questions. See a counselor as often as possible. If you get out of class early, rush over to the office to see if there is a walk-in available for a counselor.
5. In many cases, there are financial aid possibilities for students who are self supporting. Whether it is through federal grants, scholarships, a job, or fundraising, don’t let not having the funds keep you from following through.
6. If you don’t know where to start, there are ways to learn “how to learn”, “how to achieve in college”, “how to sign up for classes”, “how to study”, “what am I good at”.
7. Academic advisors and major advisors are two different departments. An academic advisor will talk to you about the necessary General Education courses you will need to take for your educational goals. A major advisor will show you through the necessary major courses to complete a defined major.
8. Don’t worry if you don’t have a clear idea of a major. Don’t worry if you are only taking one class at a time. Don’t worry if you feel like you’re not getting far enough. EVERY STEP IS A PART OF THE JOURNEY.
9. Teachers may be busy or tired, but let them know who you are. Introduce yourself on the first day of class, take time to go to office hours to grab some time with them. Most, if not all teachers, want to help you, and will answer questions.
10. Use your calendar on your phone to plug in due dates for assignments, days for tests, and even some time for you to study. I usually set a reminder for the day before, so I don’t get that feeling of horrible anxiety that I am forgetting something when I walk into class, or coming unprepared.
11. Turn in your assignments! Like, duh. Sometimes, I felt like if it wasn’t perfect, I couldn’t let anyone see it. Then I would get stressed and never turn it in. I failed many classes this way. Even if it isn’t complete, even if there is a mistake, turn it in.
12. I am that student that sits through class acting like I know what’s going on, but leaves with a fog over my brain. No question is a silly question,as they say, and your education is the opportunity to ask those silly questions. When you get an answer, always WRITE IT DOWN.

There are many, many paths to education, and the best one is whichever one suits you. I don’t believe there is a one-size fits all solution for learning.

I have a clear path for my life today, and this includes all of the possibilities that come with my education. This path encourages my strengths, and is what I wake up in the morning for. It’s what challenges me to do better. I have this voice in my head now; it keeps me moving forward and tells me “I can do it”.  I only needed a handful of people in my life to show me how, and now I pass along the message to others.

Always remember, you are powerful enough to set goals and achieve them.